It has come to my attention that if ever you bring up the topic of people saying I love you, everyone goes, "People say I love you to me ALL the time. It's no big deal! I don't know why everyone has to make such a huge deal about there boyfriend/girlfriend saying it to them." And it makes me wonder how some people can't see the difference between the "I LOVE YOU!" you scream at your friend down the hallway, and the "I love you" you say to your parents, the "I love you" you say to your best friend, and the "I love you" you say to the person you love in the romantic sense. (By romantic sense I mean they are something like your whole world.) And I decided I would take up some of my long night detailing my thoughts on each "I love you."
The one you scream down the hallway: This is the light heart. The sometimes true, never really thought through, usually harmless little reminder to the person waking away from you, or across the hall or classroom, is appreciated by you. For some people, I tend to believe it is a reminder to the rest of the room that you are loud and excessively open, in a non-slut way. This is fun. This gets annoying, VERY easily.
The "Goodnight Mom/Dad, I love you.": This holds more power then the first one for most people. For me personally it holds a LOT of weight, and I have hard time saying it to my parents as much as they probably need to hear to be sure I'm still aware of there presence. And I am, but parental love isn't as easy for me to feel okay expressing as it is for some people. SB? I've header him tell his parents I love you twice a day before. And he does that EVERY day. I wish I had that, and I wish I could say it with as much meaning and confidence as he does. Incase you haven't noticed, I don't take I love you lightly.
The "I love you man, I don't know what I'd do without you." When you say I love you to your best friend, you really mean it. That I love you is one from the heart, and you both know it, and sometimes it's hard for best friends to express it to each other without disguising the warm, soft hearted feelings with comedy. I love that, and I have NO idea why.
When your lover sais, "I love you." So many times I've seen people who thought they were so, madly, deeply, drowning in love with someone... until the next week. I have a real hard time keeping track of the couples getting together and falling apart most of the time. I've had conversations with SB in which I felt like it was just him and I and one or two other couples in a the middle of giant crowd of people falling in and out of love and in out of depression every few weeks or so. And it happens in waves. But it is NOT limited to teenagers.
I watch adults stay so madly in love with each other, so firmly believing that this person is the love of there life, when even I, one the many "completely oblivious and ignorant to the world teenage girls" (It's what they all think of us, they can't deny it.) can see clearly that they have either given up on finding love, and are consciously or unconsciously settling for someone. Even I can see when an adult couple is living of dependency on each other not to be depressed and or without a life. And that's okay, but that "I love you" just isn't the I love you I'm trying to get to here.
It's not the "mutual agreement" I love you, where you've been dating for a long time, so you just decide it will be okay if you start saying it to each other at the end of phone calls and before you turn off the lights. It's not the I love you someone says before they understand the difference between dependency/compulsive need for someone and love. It's not the I love you you tell your friends or your parents, not even your best friend. In fact, the closest thing I can think of is the I love you some of us said to our favorite toy when we were 5 years old.
If you have to ask what love feels like, you've never been in this kind of love. (It sounds obvious, but I know lot of people who said they where in love, and found themselves asking the question at one point or another.) It is something you never forget, and if you lose it, it's a TERRIBLE pain. And it NEVER goes away. I know, it sounds horrible. It IS horrible. But now that that part is out of the way: It truly is the most amazing thing in the whole world. It's a light in the dark, its happiness in a pretty little package, it's every Christmas you ever spent with your family, it's the first concert you went to, it's fulfilling a dream it's exercising a passion it's flying in a dream. It's the closest you can ever get to a person, and still not feeling close enough. Feeling like you can’t possibly entangle yourself in them and there life and there loves and there memories and there habits and there ideas and morals and dreams to feel close enough to them. In there arms is home, the space between there fingers is a lovely little secret, because walking hand in hand you know no one else in the world can feel your connection. Even if you wanted to share it with someone you couldn't, and believe me, I've tried. I'm trying right now. Its when 30 people a day come up to you just to tell you that your cute together and you guys look perfect together and cute older couples come up to you and tell you your going to be together for the rest of your lives, and you pretend to right it off as a nice little compliment, but in the back of your mind your love it something inexpressible. You take every one of those 'compliments' to heart. It's being so unable to express the way you feel about someone that saying I love you is really something more like saying "I am trying with ever fiber of my being to try and express how amazing you are, but I just can't seem to get it out." And sometimes, that I love you is the most climactic release (and yes I am using that in a way referring to sex) of all that tension built up inside of you there ever was, it's the final wires connecting to create the peaceful energy flow between the two of you.
http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/this-is-love/
This article does a wonderful job explaining what love is, a much better job then I just did.
But anyways, yeah, that’s just my 5:03 in the morning explanation for all these. Don't take it directly to heart, I'm sure it's different for everybody, but not by that much. ;)
I didn't proof read this.
